It is very common within cults (of all types) to raise children communally. The leader takes a basic notion “It takes a village” and twists it into dictatorial orders that go against what most see to be important in basic child-rearing and child development. A healthy bond between parent and child is crucial in developing basic human traits like trust and hope. This being ruptured in a cult environment weakens both parent and child, making both more dependent on the leader – sort of like a perpetual state of childhood.
An ex-3HO adult mentioned that they were led to understand that communal child-rearing was the norm in Indian Culture, and therefore the reason for it within 3HO. But one of the biggest eye-openers for me having been sent to India at such a young age, away from the romantic notions of my parents, was that I was able to see Indian and Sikh culture for what is really was. And today as an adult, I am able to differentiate between the two – that 3HO, in no way resembles Indian culture or traditional Sikh culture.
In reality, it is not the Indian culture to simply refer to any adult in one’s community as “auntie” or “uncle” (as this adult mentioned in a message to me). Indian culture highly emphasizes the nuclear and extended family as a unit, but total strangers are not treated as family willy-nilly. At GNFC the Indian students did not refer to their teachers and matrons as “auntie” or “uncle”, they were “Ma’am” and “Sir”. While Hierarchy is emphasized with age and class, there simply is no umbrella term for just any adult. Roles are far more clear than what the 3HO adults may have been led to believe. Yogi Bhajan used misunderstood notions of an exotic and far off land and twisted them to his benefit.
3 Replies to “It takes a village…”
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I think your final sentence, “Yogi Bhajan used misunderstood notions of an exotic and far off land and twisted them to his benefit” sums up the 3HO organization exactly.
Perhaps also adding into the mix the naive and in some cases, clearly disturbed, group of people we call our parents.
Indians often refer to ANY Community member as Auntie and Uncle…
I can't tell you how many times i've been called uncle by a indian ( and i'm not even indian)
Seems like it's a term of endearment or respect more than a label for kin.
Also, The village raising a child refers to the concept of us being limited by, or comprised of, our total experience.
If you are a parent yet you will definitely know by now that the fear of creating failure for your child is great enough to make us do wild things… like send your kid to India.
However, most of our short-commings and our faults can be exposed by allowing the 'outsiders' perspective into our bubble. Not an easy thing to do. Why not expose your child to the perspective of another trusted community member.. thus the village.
I may choose to send my child to India when the time comes… just not when he/she is 7 like i was when i went.
One question? why delete so many comments? what happened to the open dialog?
My parents handed me over to total strangers when I was seven. That's not even remotely close to the concept of "it takes a village", which essentially is a rough idea of society at large taking care of its own. Yogi Bhajan tried to create a micro-society, with his rules, and him being the sole arbiter of justice. He instructed parents to hand over their children to strangers. Most children who were in the care of "guardians" in the late seventies and early eighties were neglected and abused, and I was one of those children.
"…the fear of creating failure for your child is great enough to make us do wild things".
Speak for yourself.
"Wild things" are not an option in realistic and thoughtful parenting. It takes diligence, vigilance and discipline to be a good parent. Parenting is NOT handing your child to someone else who you barely know. That's called NOT parenting. That's expecting someone else to do your work for you. That's LAZINESS.
If you send your child to boarding school in India, not only are you lazy, you are caught up in a dogma that is causing you to make very poor decisions on behalf of an individual's life who dearly depends on you to protect and nurture. Too bad.