Comments on: On Given Names

By: Sat Khalsa

Sat Khalsa — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 01:55:49 +0000

I don't know if anybody still reads this but I was a student at MPA for 6 years from when I was 9 to when I was 15. I have struggled with the name change thing for years and finally today at the age of 21 I started the process to change my name legally.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 24 Oct 2010 01:09:57 +0000

In the early 70s, my son's father was on the fringes of 3HO. When our son was born, he asked me if I would allow Yogi Bhajan to name our son; stupidly, I agreed. YB gave my son a 4-syllable name follow by Singh. On his birth certificate we gave him his father's last name/birth name, so that Singh became the middle name. This child, with absolutely no 3HO connection, was saddled with this weird name. Fast forward . . . when my son was 7-years old he came home from school one day and very adamantly said he was changing his name. I said, "Well, what name have you chosen?" To my great surprise, he said the very name which I had originally chosen for him (I was certain I had never shared that with him)! From that day forward he refused to answer to his 4-syllable Indian name and the transition was quite easy for me. On his school records, I changed his first name to his new Amer. name, changed his middle name to the first letter, only, of his Indian name, and dropped the Singh completely and, of course, kept his last name. At 7-years old he told me that is how he wanted it. I never did a legal or formal name change but he had no problem getting a drivers license or a passport, as a young adult. He has traveled and lived abroad most of his adult life and has never been questioned about his name.

By: Reinanam

Reinanam — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 01:35:52 +0000

I have struggled with the name issue for years. I lived at GNFC for a
couple years and was raised in a very fanatical ashram. After leaving
3ho when I was around 13, my mother said I could choose any name I
wanted. This I found exciting at first and insisted on being called
Stephanie (which is nothing like my Sikh name) by the time everyone
started calling me that, I hated the name and wanted it to be changed
again. I have never legally changed my name but now use a common
American name that sounds similar to part of my Indian name so that I
don't have to hear the "where does that name come from?" when I meet
people. It’s hard; my identity has been split up in several different
pieces that are very separate from each other.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 16:01:57 +0000

My name was never legally changed from my Christian name to my Sikh name. My drivers license was already in my Christian name so the change back was pretty easy.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 03:17:24 +0000

Oh yes, I know exactly what you mean. Luckily my name was never legally changed to the 3HO name, so I never quite forgot that I had had another life before YB. From a sociological perspective, the name change is a tool within cults to sever ties and create conflict/distance with non-members, especially family, and to create bonds within the group. Same with the "distinctive" clothing, ie; bana. Totally common. Creates an "us" and "them" dynamic. I'm so glad that I never have to use that horrible name again!! I'm still friends with a lot of people from college who knew me by the cult name, even though I had left the cult years before. Whenever anyone who knew me by that name uses it, I always tell them that it reminds me of a very painful part of my life any time I hear the sound of that name. Thankfully people understand, and it's amazing how they adjust. On facebook, the Indian kids we went to school with us have no idea about any of this, and usually when they figure out who I am, from photos, they say Oh, you're_____(3HO name)!! So to them I say that it was a name given to me by YB, who I believe is a fraud, and to please call me by the name my family gave me. That usually works.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 17:52:41 +0000

I just changed my last name. My birth certificate has my fathers last name and it was changed legaly by my parents shortly after. After spending so much time in India and hearing what a Khalsa was supposed to be, I always felt like a hypocrit sporting that name since I certainly was not going to live a lifestyle of madatory prayers and a giant pair of underware resembling a sack. It seemed strange that Khalsa would be attached to everyones name without them taking Amrit and being baptised, almost as if someone was trying to force me into a vow and lifestyle I wasn't willing to lead.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 17:45:16 +0000

I think that I and the city-rent-a-car anonymous poster may have been friends in the same ashram in the late 1980s. If so, you are originally from New York, I am originally from Massachusetts, both of our fathers were lawyers. I would love to be in touch with you if there is a way you would be open to that.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 02:33:36 +0000

"And yet, while I do not practice or identify with the religion now, I have had this name for over 30 years. It is on my checks, my credit cards, my e-mail signature at work. It is on my daughters birth certificate."

We first changed our birth names to Sikh names when we had no ties or responsibilites. It was too simple. We just petitioned the court- didn't even have to go in. But later on when we had children, owned a home, had diplomas, credit cards, real jobs- it not only cost thousands, but engendered much suspicion later on when we had to reveal our past to employers etc. We wanted out though- and we perservered. Because our son was already 7yrs old, we used his Sikh first name as his middle name, thinking it would give him some continuity. He vows to change it when he grows up,and never uses it.

By: indiakids blog

indiakids blog — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 20:36:32 +0000

Like you said, it's the name I've had for 30 plus years, it is, as different as it is, my name. I do know people who have changed their names and it has worked out for them. When it came to that decision for me, I realized it was the last name that I'd rather be rid of than the first name, so that's what I did.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 20:19:25 +0000

I'm surprised you haven't changed your name. Why haven't you changed your name?

It's something I have struggled with. I don't feel like it's my name, but I don't feel like any others fit either. Insert mini-identity crisis here.

Funny what you said - I did tell my parents that they had shirked their parental responsibility by not naming me themselves. Turns out they both had names they would have chosen for me (Michelle, Anne, Angela). Hmmm. I knew about as many Michelle's as I did children with my Sikh name - which is to say quite a few, actually. Strangers might have thought my name was unique or original, but the truth was I knew at least 5 other boys and girls my age with the same name. I'm sure there were/are many more.

As far as my parents and changing my name is concerned, I figure that's a bit like the hair cutting thing. My dads parents gave him crap for NOT cutting his hair, he didn't speak to me for two months after I cut mine. Their parents were undoubtedly upset by the name changing thing, but they did it anyways. It would be a little hypocritical for them to judge me changing mine. Hell, they didn't even give my mine...

And yet, while I do not practice or identify with the religion now, I have had this name for over 30 years. It is on my checks, my credit cards, my e-mail signature at work. It is on my daughters birth certificate.

My daughters middle name is not Kaur. I guess that will have to be enough for me for now.